Cutting the Cheese

Going to miss this...

Dutch Lesson Learned: The Stroopwafel

Preparing my Dutch breakfast

Can't believe I've gone 3 months without talking about stroopwafels.  At first glance they look like a regular waffle but they are much thinner.  They are made from two thin layers of baked batter with a carmel syrup filling.  To read about the full history of the stroopwafel see wikipedia's entry on them here.

Sounds delicious doesn't it?  The good news, there is no shortage of stroopwafels in the Netherlands.  You can even buy prepackaged ones from the train station vending machines for €1.  The bad news, the first bites are delicious, but then there is this indescribable taste that holds your mouth hostage immediately, then sticks around on for hours more.  Best solution, wash that taste away with coffee.

Actually, placing a stroopwafel on top of your coffee is a preferred method for eating.  The carmel filling melts in the center then proceeds out to the outer rim.  After you let it sit for a bit you have a gooey carmel treat.

I tried it this way this morning and I'll admit the aftertaste wasn't as severe as eating them dry right out of the package.  Lesson Learned.

Let the stroopwafel sit for a bit to warm and melt, then enjoy.

Trespassing Through the Tulips. A Visit to Keukenhof.

Word association game time.  When I say "Holland" what's the first thing that comes to your mind.  I'm assuming 99% of you thought of tulips, maybe the other 1% of you thought of clogs.  Well this post is about the 99%. If you want to read about our clog experiences click here.

Keukenhof Collage

Main Entrance

With our Netherlands days windmilling down, we knew it was now or never time if we wanted to try to see some tulips.  So on Saturday, April 27th we embarked on a journey from Oss to Keukenhof, THE PLACE to see tulips in the Netherlands.  The park is "32 hectares" big? wide? long? (what the heck is a hectare?)  Anyway, it's big, and you can totally get lost if you don't have a map.  Speaking of maps!

KEUKENHOF PROTIP:  Save yourself €4. Visit the Keukenhof website and print (or download to your phone) a park map before you go.  There are no free maps in the park.  

I broke down and shelled out the €4 for the 2013 Park Guide.  But not without having some fun and creating some quality footage for this DannyZ clip.

Sometimes you just need to stop and smell the small change.

Keukenhof map...for free

Photo Credit: John "Throat Puncher" Fay
Can you spot the trespassers?

You may be wondering what all those colored lines surround the park represented.  Well, my friends, they are the tulip fields. We noticed hords of people meandering through the fields from our windy perch on the windmill.  Our immediate reaction was obviously "We want to go to there."  But how?  We were looking for access when we found ourselves at the "Entrance Extra" gate and overheard a pair of tourists asking a park worker how to get to the fields.  Her response was something like it's not encouraged; people shouldn't go; it's disrespectful to the farmer; and people can damage the crop. So we did what any other upstanding tourist would do; we went to the fields.  

It was worth not heeding the advice of the park worker; the fields were amazing, and only parts were in full bloom.  We stayed and respectfully took pictures for about 15 minutes before the farmer appeared shouting in Dutch with a pitch fork, stabbing our friend.  Well, that's how I pictured it going down.  The farmer actually just appeared out of nowhere and quietly ushered us off his land.  

So freakin' Dutch #SFD.  See the windmill behind the trespassers?

Keepin' it classy

We left the fields and returned to the park's "Entrance Extra," and panicked for a moment   Did we need to get a hand stamp or something?  Rut Ro.  We played it cool and handed our ticket to the gate worker.  Confused, she says that our tickets were already scanned.  Not wanting to reveal our delinquent behavior, Vicki quickly responded "Oh, we just went out to look at the..... road?" This gem got us back in the park and hours of laughs. Feel free to use that line if you decide to trespass through the tulips and want to get back into the park.

KEUKENHOF PROTIP: Access the actual tulip fields from  LOOSTERWEG NOORD.  The access point is about a 5 minute walk from the "Entrance Extra" of Keukenhof.  It's technically trespassing on a farmers private land, so be respectful and DON'T TRAMPLE THE CROP.  

Trespassing with pram

Testing the farmer's fence for an electrical charge.

Speaking of tickets, here's a short confused rant.  We bought a "Combiticket" online.  Still questioning the benefit of this ticket.  It did allow us direct access into the park without having to queue to buy tickets.  However, the price included a roundtrip bus ride, the "Keukenhof Express" from Schiphol.  According to 9292.nl (a great journey planning site for the Netherlands BTW) A one way bus trip to Keukenhof from Schiphol costs €3.68 (€7.36 RT).  The price of the combiticket is €22.50 for adults (€12.50 kids 4-11).  A regular adult ticket without transport is €15. So if you do the math the "Keukenhof Express" costs €7.50.  They say the combiticket is the best "deal," but I'm not sure.  Maybe I'm missing something, or maybe I'm just a cheapskate.  

Whichever ticket you get, Keukenhof is totally worth it.  You could spend hours traversing the 15 kilometers of foothpaths snapping pictures. Be sure to have plenty of space on your camera's memory card too because every part of the park is like a postcard picture. You can also check in on facebook using the park's free WiFi.   

KEUKENHOF PROTIP: Don't rely on the park's WiFi to arrange a meeting place for your friend who is coming from Hoofddorp.  It's spotty.

We really enjoyed our day and would absolutely recommend a visit to Keukenhof.  Thanks for reading.

You're welcome.

Have you visited Keukenhof?  Did you trespass in the fields? Did you get pitchforked?

Have you heard about windmilling?

Need a Lift?

Keeping up with my fascination for the public urinals of the Netherlands (click link & read #10); here are some pictures of a "URILIFT" van parked out front of our apartment the other day.  

What the EF is Efteling?

I began accumulating these "€10 Kortings Coupons" after a few trips to the Albert Heijn grocery store.  Of course, I had no idea what they were or how to use them.  But rather than asking in broken English like a normal expat, I would just nod my head at the cashier girl and she would hand me another coupon. After the fourth blank stare head nod, I worked up the courage to ask what exactly I was receiving.

At first the cashier was a bit startled by my English; my regular checkout gal wasn't working that day.  She "explained me" that the coupons were for Efteling.  Oh, okay, that clears things up, of course Efteling.  WHAT THE EF WAS EFTELING?!?  She could see my look of befuddlement with her explanation, so she proceeded to ask her cashier colleague in the next lane over "Efteling in Engles?"  Her colleague couldn't translate so she proceeded to shout down to the next cashier.  I was slowly becoming part of an odd game of "Whisper Down the Supermarket Checkout Lanes."  I was mortified.  Everyone was looking at the goofy American wearing a Phillies hat.  I was thinking to myself:  "This Efteling thing better be ef-ing fantastic."   Now the entire row of checkout girls were all shouting in Dutch to each other.  I thought I overheard one of them say "roller coaster," but she was about five lanes down. As they continued chattering and laughing, a fellow shopper came to my aid with the following words: "Amusement Park."  A-HA!  Now I remembered.  Efteling is like the Dutch DisneyWorld and these were coupons for discount admission to the park.  Brilliant!  I thanked that kind Dutch man and the entire staff of the Albert Heijn for their translation assistance with a sincere "Dank u wel" and walked home.  

Voiceover:  "Dan Szostek, you were just in the most embarrassing/most awesome Albert Heijn checkout experience of your life.  What are you going to do now?"

Me:  "I'M GOING TO EFTELING!" 

EDITOR'S NOTE:  After reading a few TripAdvisor reviews we decided it wasn't for us.  It does seem to be a nice place for families, thrill ride seekers and people who like stage shows with pyrotechnics; but honestly this wizard guy creeped me out .  Decide for yourself at http://www.efteling.com/

Screenshot from efteling.com with creepy wizard.

#expatproblems: hulu

I had some time on the train last night, so I did what any other person without a data plan on their phone does while they are on a train; I played solitaire and looked through old pictures.

I stumbled upon a strange one.  It was a screen shot of hulu.com.  If you're unfamiliar with hulu, it's a streaming video service for television shows.  Vicki and I aren't huge television people, but there are some shows that we like to catch like: The Office, 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, ABC's The Bachelor (wait what?!?, I'll admit it, we watch ABC's The Bachelor, mostly to make fun and to get date ideas)  As we became familiar with our Dutch cable we learned that the main English comedy options were reruns of Seinfeld, Friends, Dharma & Greg, and The Ellen Show (we actual grew to like Ellen DeGeneres, she's kind of funny; who knew.) Now, don't get me wrong, this was all quality programming especially when your other options were a Dutch version of skating with the (washed up) stars; a group of Dutch people sitting around a table and and arguing in Dutch with each other; and of course the light night ladies helping you practice counting in Dutch by offering you their phone numbers.    

A commercial for Olive Garden on hulu

Then a light went off!  hulu.com could help!  It was wonderful, we were catching up on our comedies and judging the newest crop of wackos on ABC's The Bachelor. (Was there really a jumbotron operator this season?)  But then after two nights the party was over.  

You the reader: "Wait; Dan, you said it only worked for two night?  What happened?  Didn't you get to see who got the final rose and a proposal for a failed marriage?"

Me the writer:  "Nope."

While trying to begin an episode of 30 Rock we got the message below.  The gig was up or was it?  With a simple refresh of my screen about 3-4 times, the show would start playing.  This refresh strategy worked a few more times after that but then they caught on to my scheme and shut us down completely.  

I clicked "here", but it didn't help.  

Oh well.  We never saw the final rose but we still had Ellen Shows from October of 2012.   

What A Difference a Week Makes

Seriously, what a difference a week makes.  Last week I felt this:

 Click here to read about last week's debacle

Today I feel like THIS!

Um, yeah, this is the kind of stuff I walk out of the grocery store with.

I'm king of the world again!   Not only did I remember my debit card and not only did I walk out of the Albert Heijn grocery store with this little orange guy (you had to spend €15 or more) I scored a six pack of Heineken for 25% korting! That's .62 euro cents a can!

Three Fingers for Willem and a Sixer for Danny

Check out the video that's driving the Dutch crazy.  It also explains the 3 fingers for Willem thing.