Things We Liked/Didn't Like: An Expat Reflection

Living abroad for close to a year, first in Ireland then the Netherlands, gave us a new perspective on how freggin' big the world really is.  It also gave us time to appreciate the different cultural aspects of life in Europe.  Some we loved, some we found a bit off, and some just confused the hell out of us.  Our Dutch expat days concluded on 19 May 2013.  But I thought I'd do some reflecting with this post and write about "Things We Liked/Didn't Like" about our time in the Netherlands.

Things We Liked:

1.) Leaving Oss.  Just kidding, it's a fine town.  It was first referred to us as a "sleepy little village."  Well the "sleepy" part is accurate (especially during the week in the winter months), but by no means is this place a village. Oss had tons to offer: restaurants, cafes, shopping and more. Well, it's got all that to offer, when things are OPEN (see #1 of "Things We Didn't Like")  In addition, there was always some type of huge party organized in the town square with bands and karaoke at least once a month (check out my videos for Klunen, Carnaval, & Koninginnedag).

My Video Tribute to Oss here.

2.) Train Access.  We were just a short 10 minute walk to the Oss train station from our apartment.  This station was our starting point for amazing trips to Belgium, Germany, Czech Republic and Switzerland.

3.) Cafes/Restaurants in Oss.  Here were some of our favorites:

-Koozie: loved their bread plate & shared menu special, AYCE!
-Monterosso: of the three Italian Restaurants that we found in town (I think there's a fourth) this was our favorite for pizza
-Da Antonio: Italian, great platters, friendly owner
-Brasserie De Spieghel: great draft & bottle selection; owner/manager not the friendliest
-Deli France: nice people, great sandwiches
-Tweede Herr: very chill; leather couches, chairs, fireplace.  Great beer selection
-LaColline: great beer menu; nice outdoor seating; fell in love with the Kasteel Cuvee
-Brasserie De Serre: restaurant at the City Hotel, great service.  Try the steak on a stone.

4.) Carnaval. One word: Incredible. The parades and the parties were simply amazing.  Favorite part was the burning of the Ox in Oss to close the festivities.  If you have the opportunity definitely experience Carnaval in the Netherlands.

5.) Market Day. Every Tuesday & Saturday in Oss.  (Saturdays in Den Bosch) Vendors with cheeses, vegetables, breads, fish, & meats descended on the town to sell their wares.  Much different shopping experience than what we were used to in the States say at your local Wegmans, Acme, Walmart, etc.  Great prices and fun atmosphere.

Free Coffee Machine at AH

6.) Albert Heijn (AH).  Not unique to Oss, it's a Netherlands grocery store chain. I spent A LOT of time here. Nice variety of food, decent prices and FREE COFFEE.  But most of my time there I was glued to my phone translating the produce aisle. By the way, a "wortel" is a carrot; you're welcome.  I also enjoyed causing scenes in the checkout lane and chatting it up with the Afghan fella that ran the Mediterranean Bar.

7.) The Fries. (aka frites and or chips).  They were just dam good everywhere; by themselves or with the sauces, including mayo.  And whether you wanted them or not, they were usually a side order that came with every meal you ordered.

8.) The City Hotel Staff.  The owners/operators of our apartment. Great folks, friendly and very accommodating. Go like them on facebook.

9.) Statie Fles. It's fun to recycle and you get a refund! The "statie fles" that you may see on your receipt is a surcharge or tax placed on certain glass and plastic bottles.  For more information on recycling in the Netherlands go here.

I'll miss you the most

10.) The Beer.  Just like they say the Guinness tastes better in Ireland (I can personally attest that it does) the Heineken tastes amazing in the Netherlands. Especially on draft and most especially at outdoor festivals under a tent in the town square.

Our time in Oss also gave me a whole new appreciation for the world of Trappist beers.  My favorite new find was the La Trappe Quadrupel, available for just €1.39 a bottle (including statie fles) at our local Albert Heijn.  I learned two things about this beer: 1.) Only Trappist label brewed in the Netherlands; 2.) It demands respect, especially at 10%ABV.  Didn't think I'd see her again once we got home but I was able to procure a bottle at Wegman's in Collegeville, PA the other day to help ease the repatriation process.

Our Bike.  Lots of trunk space.

11.) Biking.  Even though this is listed as #11 it was by far one of my favorite things to do.  The nice folks at the City Hotel allowed us to borrow a bike. However, I was hesitant to ride at first because of the snow and ice. I was also a little intimidated to ride because I couldn't figure out how to make a left hand turn.  After the ground thawed, and countless hours watching and studying how bikers turn left; I got over my fears and started cruising all over Oss, in all types of weather.

Things We Didn't Like:

1.) Business Hours- This was one of the hardest adjustment for us.  On one hand it's great, businesses shut down around 5pm, allowing employees to be home with their families, awesome.  On the other hand, what are two expats to do after dinner when everything is closed?

2.) Credit Card Acceptance-I've written numerous rants about this in prior posts.  I also get it; the Dutch aren't into credit cards. Judging by the way most Americans abuse this privledge I can see.  BUT, there are a small amount of us that do pay off our cards and those that look forward to earning points on their cards for flights, hotels, etc.  There is nothing worse than that feeling of helplessness when a server tries tirelessly to read your card, and I'm not even talking the typical American swipe card, we have a "chip" & sign VISA card through Hyatt, and that still didn't work at times. And not just in our small town, this happened in Den Bosch and even a pub in Amsterdam.  Word of advice, always be sure to have some Euros in your pocket just in case the credit card machine doesn't work.

3.) Location.  Oss is a little off the beaten path so we usually had to transfer in bigger train stations like Den Bosch to get anywhere.  But that's okay, the Den Bosch station had a Smullers.  Watch this.

Don't need all this, just some

4.) Customer Service- Okay, I'm not expecting over the top TGI Friday's flair covered service in restaurants, but a warm smile and a hello would be nice.  Hell, I'd just settle for a head nod and acknowledgement of my basic presence at your otherwise empty restaurant.  There have been times where I've said to myself: "No it's cool, I don't need another beverage, I can wait while you set up tables and clean glassware for an empty restaurant." (true story).  Now, there were exceptions to this lack of service, but most of the time our presence in some restaurants seemed to be an inconvenience for the staff. We get it, you're not working for tips, and we don't speak Dutch, but we like to drink beer, how about a refill?

In addition, don't expect much personal customer service from your bank or cell phone provider unless you are prepared to pay.  Most service companies charge a fee of a few euro cents per minute just to talk with a human. They'll even charge you to tell you via automated message that their office is closed when you call for help on a Sunday; true story.  My advice, get a twitter account, most companies have them and are responsive to questions, and that's free, well kind of, just costs you a home internet provider and or a smartphone data plan.

Super convenient online purchases, not.

5.) Banking. "Wait, how much to cash a check? and how long would it take?" That was me after learning it would have taken 4-6 weeks to cash a check, AND it would cost about 16% of the check's value in fees. Hats off to the Dutch banking system for going paperless, but what's an expat to do with a refund check from their Irish Gas company?

In addition, the process for making online payments is a bit different. You are given a card reader (pictured right) that spits out a pin number for internet transactions.  It's supposed to be for added security. It's a bit of an added hassle because it's one more step you need to go through for purchases.  But once you get used to it, it's not all bad and as a victim of identity theft I can appreciate the security.

Lastly, our bank didn't make their policies regarding fees very clear for English speaking expats.  After setting up our account we specifically asked about ATM fees and were told "There were none." What they failed to mention was if we used our bank card abroad we would be slapped with a fee.  Oh, and if you want to find information on the fees associated with your account you have to go to their website.  Our bank did offer an English version of the website, however if you want to read about fees on the website you have to "check the overview of banking rates for private clients (in Dutch)."   Yeah, I still haven't found the link to this information on the site.  Bottom, line when setting up your Dutch bank account, ask questions and try to read the fine print regarding fees.  Perhaps I should have followed my own advice and tweeted them my questions.

ov-chipkaart with Dal "What a Deal Subscription"

6.) NS Rail Discounts/NS RailPlus Card.  We knew we'd be riding a lot of trains both domestic and international, but the trains weren't cheap. A roundtrip fare from Oss to Amsterdam cost €33.00 roundtrip per person.  That could certainly add up so we looked into the discount subscriptions offered by NS Rail (domestic trains) and NSHispeed (international trains) .  But figuring out how to apply for these discounts was a real pain.  It took countless hours of research, translations and tweets to finally figure out the best deal for the local trains.

Applying for the international train discount card, called the RailPlus Card, was equally frustrating.  I could not find how to apply for this discount program anywhere online.  The best info I could get at the time was from a Belgian rail site. Trying to avoid a per minute calling fee, I took to twitter to get some answers and it paid off.  The NSHispeed Twitter person got me the website, albeit the site was all in Dutch, but Google Chrome helped me through it.

Definitely follow @NS_online & @NSHispeed on twitter if you have any rail related questions. Both were extremely responsive and very helpful.  Oh, and you don't really need to tweet in Dutch, their English is great.

Also, special thanks to amsterdamtips.com for their help in my research. They provide great tips on  on all things Amsterdam on their site and via email; great site for visitors and expats.

The final kick in the ass was right before we are ready to leave the Netherlands I saw that the cost for the subscription for the NS Dal Advantage, the subscription we bought, was slashed from €50 to €29.  However, I think at the time of writing (May 31, 2013), the price went back to €50.

[Blogger's Note: I'm hoping to have an entire post dedicated to Dutch Rail Discounts soon.]

7.) Smoking- Totally forgot how gross you feel after being in a bar/restaurant with smoking.  Should have invested in some EuroFabreeze.

8.) Techno Drive-bys- It was brought to my attention prior to our arrival that the Dutch had an affiinity towards the genere of music referred to as "techno."  They especially liked to rock out to this genere while driving (yes, some do drive).  Luckily for us we were living there during the winter and our windows weren't open much.  But there were times when our collection of beer bottles for recycling would begin to rattle because of the bass and the sweet beats.

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As you can see, the "Things We Liked" about the Netherlands did out number the "Things We Didn't Like." And perhaps, some of the later were just due to cultural/societal adjustments. Perhaps if we had stayed longer some of the dislikes would have disappeared from the list. We have been very fortunate this past year and are extremely grateful for these all these experiences.  The little differences made our time abroad enriching and allowed us to see that there was a big world outside the windows of our Pennsylvania home.

For more of my ramblings and tips check out one of my early posts: "One Month, Ten Lessons: Netherlands."

Can any other expats relate? or I'm I just nuts?

Thanks for reading.

"Oss: Our Town. Our Memories." A Video Tribute.

How can you put down in words the experience of living in Oss?  I couldn't, so I made a video instead.  Enjoy and thanks for watching.

Our First (and only) Visitor

Funny.  When we lived in Ireland last summer we had 14 visitors.  During our stay in the Netherlands we had 1.  And technically he was primarily there for a work assignment but I'm still counting it as a visit.

As his reward for hanging out with us I'm committed to making Mr. John Fay an interwebs star.  Enjoy his breakout role.

WARNING: After watching you'll regret not visiting us to experience the majesty of the pocket sandwich.

Dear PA Dutch Readers...

Dear Pennsylvania Dutch Readers:

I would like to extend a heartfelt thank you to everyone for visiting Pennsylvania Dutch over the past few months.  I hope you enjoyed reading my ramblings as much as I enjoyed creating and documenting my embarrassing situations in the Netherlands.

On May 19, 2013 my wife, Vicki and I returned home to the USA ending a very fortunate year long expatriate experience. Looking back, we experienced an amazing "Irish Summer" in Malahide, Ireland with a beautiful beach, a castle, and a Jack Russell Terrier. We then moved on to marvel at the beauty and splendor of a "Dutch Winter" in Oss, The Netherlands. Where we had no beach, no castle, and no Jack Russell.  But we did have a bike; that was cool.  Both experiences were incredible but very different and I'm sure it's obvious which one we preferred; God I miss that bike.  

My only regret during our expat days was that I didn't start blogging sooner.  MY GOD! The stories I could have written in Ireland. I did start recounting some of those tales on my tumblr, Polish Clover but really never finished. Well, at least I was able to bring you our daily Dutch living adventures, like our multi-lingual washer and dryer, our Dutch-Polish Deli, and of course my grocery store experiences with Eftling coupons and an Afgan Olive Man.

Blogging allowed me to feel and stay connected with family and friends back home.  It also allowed me to join a worldwide community  by listing "PA Dutch" on various expat blog directories. Oh, and check this out one post even won a writing contest! Thanks for voting.

8,000 pageviews (and counting) later, I remain humbled that folks are still stopping by and reading and watching.  Thanks again to all.  But my repatriation does NOT mean PA Dutch is shutting down. I still have a few more posts and videos in the pipeline so keep checking back.  And who knows, I may start up a new blog documenting my zany misadventures in Norristown, PA.  You'd read that too wouldn't you?

Love,
DannyZ
xoxoxo

Who is "Statie Fles" & Why is She Stealing My Beer Money?

"A La Trappe Quadrupel for €1.29!  A Chimay Blue for €1.47!  HOT DAM, I LOVE THE NETHERLANDS.  Wait, hold up, what's this extra €0,10 all about on my reciept? And what/who the hell is 'Statie Fles'?  Sounds like the name one of those flapper actresses from the roaring 20s." 

The above "blog-amatization" was my reaction upon one of my first beer runs at the Albert Heijn grocery store in Oss, The Netherlands.  But I bet your first reaction was, "Who the hell ever looks at their receipt after a beer run?"  Well my friends DannyZ does; he's all about value.

I highlighted to draw your attention to the prices

Like everything initially in the Netherlands, this €0,10 charge confused me. I later learned it's a type of surcharge or tax placed on your glass and or plastic bottle purchases.  However, don't try it with wine bottles; only works with beer bottles and plastic soda/juice bottles.  I was ticked at first about the surcharge; another nickel and dime scheme. However, I soon discovered these magical machines (below) that give you your money back, well, sort of.

Look for these machines; these were near the FREE coffee machine.

One Friday night, after amounting a fine collection of empty brews, my wife and I set out on a hot date to so some recycling down at the AH.  Here's the video:

Your prize for caring about the environment.

I learned that once you get the slip (pictured above) all you have to do is hand it to the cashier at check out and the money comes off your purchase. This particular day I was €0,65 closer to another delicious La Trappe Quadrupel.

Hats off to the Dutch for their recycling methods...I wonder if Wegmans will ever adopt this practice?

Nederlanders, do you carry all your bottles back to the AH?  Westerners, would you?

Orange You Glad the Dutch Have a New King?

Watching karaoke performed on a stage in a town square.

Singing and swaying to "Brabant"  with a group of Dutch fellas. 

Seeing an ocean of orange in Amsterdam

Sipping Jenever.

Witnessing History.

April 30th.  The Last Queen's Day or Koninginnedag AND the investiture of a new King of The Netherlands. And we were there, in Amsterdam, for both.  Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands announced her abdication on January 28th. [You can read about my reaction to the abdication here] She transfered her royal duties to her son Willem-Alexander on Queen's Day, April 30, 2013.  Making Willem the first Dutch King since 1890.  I'm not going to pretend I know much more than that, but trust me, it's a big deal.

There are plenty of other news outlets and bloggers that have reported on this historic event so I won't repeat it all here.  Fellow Dutch expat @Momofthreeunder provides some great insights and questions on the royals at her blog: Take a read, good stuff.

I'll let the pictures, videos and my ramblings tell the story of what transpired for us from April 29th-May 1st.  Enjoy.

As seen on TV: The Royal Family.  The King is on the left.

Queen's Day Preparations in Oss

Rolling out the orange carpet in Oss. Can you sense my excitement & fear?

Mobile Heineken bars

Seriously, this town loves to set up tents and stages for parties

If you think I'm kidding about Oss loving to party; watch this video.  

The Main Event: Queen's Day in Amsterdam

Since it was our first (and probably only) Queen's Day, I was a little nervous for a few reasons: 1.) They were expecting massive crowds in Amsterdam for the day. 2.) We had no idea what to expect.  So, I figured our best strategy was structure.

I found a party targeted to "international visitors" at the beautiful Zuiderkerk.  This old church was transformed into what was called "The Royal Cafe." I figured having an organized event to attend (with bathrooms) was clutch.  However, I grew hesitant of my decision when I discovered a party targeted to international guests would not accept our US based credit card for payment.  

AmsterDAN & Vicki

Technical difficulties aside, the party was a blast.  We met a very nice Dutch couple who interpretted all the events around the coronation/inaguration of the new King.  Plus I discovered that I love Jenever.  A traditional Dutch liquor.

Hello Jenever.  This bottle may or may not have ended up coming home with us.

Royal Blanket

I blame the Jenever for giving me the idea that the orange blanket behind me with a picture of the royal family was complimentary.  I would LOVE to see the security camera footage of me "stealthily" trying to wrap up that bright orange blanket under my arm.  The best part; once I triumphantly had my stolen article outside we felt the need to further conceal it.  Where should we perform this maneuver? Why not right in front of the security for the party.  A burly bald Dutch man saw the hijinks that we were conducting and swooped in and with a very polite "Thank You," in perfect English he reclaimed this commemorative trophy that I was attempting to liberate.

DannyZ: International Man of Orange

Thievery aside, "Partying with the Dutch" at the Royal Cafe was a great time.  One of the highlights of the event was trying to set the world record for the biggest portrait of former Queen Beatrix made entirely from bitterballen.  Dutch, you crazy.

Participating in the events to celebrate Queen's Day was fun and a bit confusing all at the same time.  No, the Jenever was not the root cause of this confusion.  We could totally feel (and see) that the Dutch had a great sense of national pride, but as outsiders, it felt very strange.  I guess it's similar to visitors to the United States on the Fourth of July.  Whatever their view of the royal family was, it seemed the entire country (or at least all of Amsterdam) rallyed around their monarchy for this day to celebrate; Dutch Style.

The People of Amsterdam on Queen's Day 2013

Even the Irish Pub was closed to celebrate Queen's Day and the New King.

Trespassing Through the Tulips. A Visit to Keukenhof.

Word association game time.  When I say "Holland" what's the first thing that comes to your mind.  I'm assuming 99% of you thought of tulips, maybe the other 1% of you thought of clogs.  Well this post is about the 99%. If you want to read about our clog experiences click here.

Keukenhof Collage

Main Entrance

With our Netherlands days windmilling down, we knew it was now or never time if we wanted to try to see some tulips.  So on Saturday, April 27th we embarked on a journey from Oss to Keukenhof, THE PLACE to see tulips in the Netherlands.  The park is "32 hectares" big? wide? long? (what the heck is a hectare?)  Anyway, it's big, and you can totally get lost if you don't have a map.  Speaking of maps!

KEUKENHOF PROTIP:  Save yourself €4. Visit the Keukenhof website and print (or download to your phone) a park map before you go.  There are no free maps in the park.  

I broke down and shelled out the €4 for the 2013 Park Guide.  But not without having some fun and creating some quality footage for this DannyZ clip.

Sometimes you just need to stop and smell the small change.

Keukenhof map...for free

Photo Credit: John "Throat Puncher" Fay
Can you spot the trespassers?

You may be wondering what all those colored lines surround the park represented.  Well, my friends, they are the tulip fields. We noticed hords of people meandering through the fields from our windy perch on the windmill.  Our immediate reaction was obviously "We want to go to there."  But how?  We were looking for access when we found ourselves at the "Entrance Extra" gate and overheard a pair of tourists asking a park worker how to get to the fields.  Her response was something like it's not encouraged; people shouldn't go; it's disrespectful to the farmer; and people can damage the crop. So we did what any other upstanding tourist would do; we went to the fields.  

It was worth not heeding the advice of the park worker; the fields were amazing, and only parts were in full bloom.  We stayed and respectfully took pictures for about 15 minutes before the farmer appeared shouting in Dutch with a pitch fork, stabbing our friend.  Well, that's how I pictured it going down.  The farmer actually just appeared out of nowhere and quietly ushered us off his land.  

So freakin' Dutch #SFD.  See the windmill behind the trespassers?

Keepin' it classy

We left the fields and returned to the park's "Entrance Extra," and panicked for a moment   Did we need to get a hand stamp or something?  Rut Ro.  We played it cool and handed our ticket to the gate worker.  Confused, she says that our tickets were already scanned.  Not wanting to reveal our delinquent behavior, Vicki quickly responded "Oh, we just went out to look at the..... road?" This gem got us back in the park and hours of laughs. Feel free to use that line if you decide to trespass through the tulips and want to get back into the park.

KEUKENHOF PROTIP: Access the actual tulip fields from  LOOSTERWEG NOORD.  The access point is about a 5 minute walk from the "Entrance Extra" of Keukenhof.  It's technically trespassing on a farmers private land, so be respectful and DON'T TRAMPLE THE CROP.  

Trespassing with pram

Testing the farmer's fence for an electrical charge.

Speaking of tickets, here's a short confused rant.  We bought a "Combiticket" online.  Still questioning the benefit of this ticket.  It did allow us direct access into the park without having to queue to buy tickets.  However, the price included a roundtrip bus ride, the "Keukenhof Express" from Schiphol.  According to 9292.nl (a great journey planning site for the Netherlands BTW) A one way bus trip to Keukenhof from Schiphol costs €3.68 (€7.36 RT).  The price of the combiticket is €22.50 for adults (€12.50 kids 4-11).  A regular adult ticket without transport is €15. So if you do the math the "Keukenhof Express" costs €7.50.  They say the combiticket is the best "deal," but I'm not sure.  Maybe I'm missing something, or maybe I'm just a cheapskate.  

Whichever ticket you get, Keukenhof is totally worth it.  You could spend hours traversing the 15 kilometers of foothpaths snapping pictures. Be sure to have plenty of space on your camera's memory card too because every part of the park is like a postcard picture. You can also check in on facebook using the park's free WiFi.   

KEUKENHOF PROTIP: Don't rely on the park's WiFi to arrange a meeting place for your friend who is coming from Hoofddorp.  It's spotty.

We really enjoyed our day and would absolutely recommend a visit to Keukenhof.  Thanks for reading.

You're welcome.

Have you visited Keukenhof?  Did you trespass in the fields? Did you get pitchforked?

Have you heard about windmilling?

Need a Lift?

Keeping up with my fascination for the public urinals of the Netherlands (click link & read #10); here are some pictures of a "URILIFT" van parked out front of our apartment the other day.  

What the EF is Efteling?

I began accumulating these "€10 Kortings Coupons" after a few trips to the Albert Heijn grocery store.  Of course, I had no idea what they were or how to use them.  But rather than asking in broken English like a normal expat, I would just nod my head at the cashier girl and she would hand me another coupon. After the fourth blank stare head nod, I worked up the courage to ask what exactly I was receiving.

At first the cashier was a bit startled by my English; my regular checkout gal wasn't working that day.  She "explained me" that the coupons were for Efteling.  Oh, okay, that clears things up, of course Efteling.  WHAT THE EF WAS EFTELING?!?  She could see my look of befuddlement with her explanation, so she proceeded to ask her cashier colleague in the next lane over "Efteling in Engles?"  Her colleague couldn't translate so she proceeded to shout down to the next cashier.  I was slowly becoming part of an odd game of "Whisper Down the Supermarket Checkout Lanes."  I was mortified.  Everyone was looking at the goofy American wearing a Phillies hat.  I was thinking to myself:  "This Efteling thing better be ef-ing fantastic."   Now the entire row of checkout girls were all shouting in Dutch to each other.  I thought I overheard one of them say "roller coaster," but she was about five lanes down. As they continued chattering and laughing, a fellow shopper came to my aid with the following words: "Amusement Park."  A-HA!  Now I remembered.  Efteling is like the Dutch DisneyWorld and these were coupons for discount admission to the park.  Brilliant!  I thanked that kind Dutch man and the entire staff of the Albert Heijn for their translation assistance with a sincere "Dank u wel" and walked home.  

Voiceover:  "Dan Szostek, you were just in the most embarrassing/most awesome Albert Heijn checkout experience of your life.  What are you going to do now?"

Me:  "I'M GOING TO EFTELING!" 

EDITOR'S NOTE:  After reading a few TripAdvisor reviews we decided it wasn't for us.  It does seem to be a nice place for families, thrill ride seekers and people who like stage shows with pyrotechnics; but honestly this wizard guy creeped me out .  Decide for yourself at http://www.efteling.com/

Screenshot from efteling.com with creepy wizard.

Alley Biking

I promise more interesting, informative and exciting posts to come.  But in the meantime, here's me riding a bike in an alley on one of the nicest days we've had so far in Oss.

10 Thoughts That May Cross The Mind of An Expat in the Netherlands

A few weeks ago I entered a writing contest with expatblogs.com  I received so much support from family and friends through comments and social sharing of my entry I was blown away.  Didn't win the contest however; but that wasn't important, it was fun to participate and feel the love from everyone.  Thanks again to all.  Here's my entry in case you missed it.  Enjoy.

The Thoughts That May Cross An Expat’s Mind During Their First Month in the Netherlands

By: Dan Szostek

1. You’ll discover that “Punta Nell” is not a tropical destination. It’s the ending to Dutch websites. punt nl = dot nl = .nl
   
   “Where is this ‘Punta Nell’ place? Somewhere near Punta Cana? And why is it constantly being mentioned on the radio and TV?” 
   
2. You’ll wonder how Expats before you survived during the times of “BG” or “Before Google.”
   
   “Am I really typing these Dutch cooking directions for pasta into Google Translate?”
   
3. You’ll have fries with mayonnaise, and really, really enjoy it.
   
   “Fries with mayonnaise! That’s what John Travolta was talking about in Pulp Fiction!”
   
   
   
   Heaven
   
   
4. You’ll be starving at the train station and see everyone else snacking so you’ll buy a pastry filled with a meat substance from the Kiosk.
   
   “Did I just eat a pastry with some type of meat baked inside? I better get another one just to confirm.” 
   
5. You’ll have one too many Trappist beers and think horsemeat on fries sounds like a good idea.
   
   “ I just ordered horsemeat on my fries because a guy in the snack bar said ‘iz good.’ Am I going to regret this? Eh, I’ll just put some mayonnaise on it.”
   
6. You’ll drink milk for lunch.
   
   “Milk, it’s not just for breakfast anymore I guess.”
   
   
   
   It does a body good
   
   
7. You’ll get bumped, pushed, and practically stiffed armed when you go grocery shopping, and that’s just in the vegetable aisle.
   
   “Looks like I’m going to need to throw some elbows to get a bag of carrots.”
   
8. You’ll panic and stare blankly at the cheese counter at your local supermarket.
   
   “Um, how many types of Gouda are there?”
   
9. You’ll be offered a cup of coffee EVERYWHERE! At work, at the supermarket, at the barber…
   
   You [Waiting to get your hair cut]: “You know a cup of coffee really does sound good right now.” 
   
10. You’ll see people pulling sandwiches out of their pockets EVERYWHERE. On the train, on the street, at their desks at work.
    
    “Hold up, did that guy just pull a sandwich out of his pocket? Wait, that lady did it too. And that guy’s sandwich has sprinkles on it!”
    [Moments later, in a sad voice to yourself]
    “I wish I had a pocket sandwich.”
    
    
    
    For your ice cream sundae or your pocket sandwich
    
    
11. You’ll panic because you’re at a train station with no ticket window and you don’t have the €18 euro in exact change needed for your train journey
    
    “€18.90 in EXACT change to get from Den Hague to Oss????”
    
12. You’ll get a bike but be too nervous to make a left so your journeys consist of all right hand turns.
    
    “Wow, cars are yielding to me I feel so powerful! WAIT, how do I make a left hand turn?”
    
13. You’ll get adjusted to washing your hands with only cold water.
    
    “I’ll just keep my hands here until the water warms up. Um, it’s not warming up.” 
    
14. You’ll think your developing calves of steel from walking up your steps.
    
    “My calves are going to be like tree trunks after climbing these stairs everyday.”
    
    
    
    Our Stairmaster
    
    
15. You’ll manage homesickness somewhat effectively until someone asks you how you are managing homesickness.
    
    “You know, I was coping with homesickness pretty well until you asked me what I missed most from home. Thanks!” 
    
16. You’ll develop an amazing broken English accent even though English is your native language.
    
    “Oh jeez, am I really communicating like this, I must sound ridiculous.”
    
17. You’ll be doing your best to stick out from the crowd and not dress like a local by wearing your baggiest jeans, sneakers and worn out Philadelphia Phillies baseball hat and still get asked for directions from on the street.
    
    Random Car Driver Stopped in Traffic: [Shouts something in Dutch]
    You: [Realizing they are talking to you in Dutch, responds in confusing tone]: Sorry, I’m new here.
    You: [Says to self]: Did I just say that?
    
18. This One’s For Guys: You’ll use an outdoor public urinal that comes out of the ground like the one pictured.
    
    “Where’s the cold water to wash my hands? Guess I’ll just use some snow.”
    
    
    
    An outdoor urinal on a crisp winter’s day
    
    
19. You’ll feel like a rock star when the simplest things work, like you debit card or your ov-chipkaart (train pass).
    
    “Wait, my card actually worked? I’M KING OF THE WORLD!”
    
20. You’ll experience all this crazy, funny, and amazing cultural differences and think that you should be recording all your adventures.
    
    “You know, I should really start a blog about all this stuff.”

Dan is originally from outside Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA and now living in the southern portion of the Netherlands with his wife. He enjoys traveling, European grocery stores, and getting himself into confusing situations while wearing his Phillies hat.

Sneeuw in Oss

The number one gripe I've seen/heard last week was about the weather.  The "first day of Spring" has come and gone and so has Easter, yet the other day I went for a bike ride around town in a mini blizzard.  What gives.  I do love the public witch hunt for Punxatawany Phil's head.  Well, I don't have any animosity towards that rodent, because even though I'm about done with Winter, it does make for some beautifully peaceful video.  

**Sorry for the shaky camera work.  I think I need one of those helmets with a camera on it**

The Trashman Cometh

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" I shout as I spring from our uncomfortable double bed on a crisp Netherlands morn.  "That noise, where is it coming from?  It sounds like a garbage truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant. "  I then peer out the window to discover I was half right.

Enjoy my trashy video.

"I CAN'T GET LEFT!"

Bike with two rolls of toilet paper strapped safely aboard.

Today, I got to experience life as a member of the upper echelon of the Dutch transportation hierarchy.   That's right folks, I took my first bike ride. There she is to the left, kick stand and all.  Alright yes, I know it's a ladies bike, don't judge me.  It came with the apartment.

"But Dan, why have you waited so long to ride a bike?"  Well Internet, let me tell you....I was waiting for the snow to melt before I embarked on a cycling adventure.  Today was a gorgeous day, in Oss.  The sun was shining and I think temps got into the 5s (°C), a virtual heat wave!  Oh, and we also needed toliet paper. So, I thought the quickest way to the City Hotel, our toliet paper supplier/owner operator of our apartment was by bike.

I think it was a good first attempt.  However, I still have NO IDEA how to make left turns.  As a result, I took a reaaaaalllly long way home to the apartment since it was composed of all right hand turns.

I may have disobeyed some ordinances on my joyride around town. A minute into my ride, I blew a  red bicycle traffic light (they have them here).  However, the bus that was about to turn right as I was proceeding just stayed put and yielded to me.  That's power, my friends.  Apparently the cyclist always has the right of way.  My next challenge can be seen here:




Here's more from my journey around Oss.


SORRY FOR THE VERTICAL VIDEOS.  I'LL DO BETTER NEXT TIME.

One Month, Ten Lessons: Netherlands

It's been a hell of a month. Dammit, I gave up cursing for Lent. DOH! Okay, let's try this again...

On January 15, 2013, Vicki and I touched town in the Netherlands to begin another expat adventure.  We've learned so much in just a short time about the Netherlands and Dutch culture; partly due to our Intercultural Training course and our day-day experiences, that I felt we should share a little.  

So with out further ado I bring you:
"One Month, 10 Lessons: Netherlands."  



1. Cash Only Country
As the saying goes, "In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash."  In our town, credit cards are not as widely accepted as we thought they would be.  AMEX, is sparse and VISA is mostly limited to restaurants. For all other purchases such as groceries and train tickets,  cash and debit cards (MAESTRO) are the ways to go.  The Dutch just want your cold hard cash.  Smart folks.  



2.  It's Not Rude To Say "Sorry, I Don't Speak Dutch"  
It makes sense; you visit/live in a country, you attempt to speak the language to show respect.  In an attempt to be polite with our new hosts, Vicki and I tried to learn a few simple phrases in Dutch, namely, "Spreek je Engels?" (Do you speak English?)  Turns out this was the WRONG phrase to learn for a number of reasons.  First and foremost, folks we've met, speak and have a good grasp of English. Also, this phrase can sound a bit obnoxious and can also be the perfect setup for a joke when someone answers you in perfect English "No, I don't speak any English at all."

So we've learned that it's perfectly acceptable and polite to say, "Sorry I don't speak Dutch." But make sure you say it in your most awkward, broken English voice.  Vicki and I joke about which one of us says that phrase the funniest.  I'm currently winning.  

We've also found that when the English-Dutch and/or Other Language barrier is too great.  Just use hand gestures like the one pictured.  This particular gesture will get you a carafe of wine.  It works! See here.

3.  Paperwork, Paperwork & More Paperwork
You know, for a liberal country you sure have to muddle through a ton of paperwork to live here.  There's a great book called the "UnDutchables."  I think it's great required reading for anyone making the move to the Netherlands.  There's a chapter that discusses the trials and tribulations of the Immigration and Naturalization Department (IND).  The process of immigration is described as  frustrating, including multiple trips to a number of different government offices.  At first we thought that this was bunk.  We had a successful visit with the IND and it only took us one trip.  But the next task was to register at the town hall in Oss.  I now understood what the book was talking about.  Today marked my third trip to this building pictured below.  But it's official, Vicki and I are married and residents in the eyes of the the Dutch Government.

The Oss Town Hall

4.  Horse Meat--It's Apparently What's For Dinner.

http://professormungleton.blogspot.nl/2013/01/burgers-for-supper-neigh-thanks.html

Okay, no disrespect, but Vicki and I have noticed something.  All the food here seems to have this strange after taste, especially the meat.  Not sure if it's the oil or the type of mystery "meat" being used, but there is definitely some distinct after taste.  One late night after a few delicious Belgian Beers, we wondered to our local snack bar.  The menu, of course was all in Dutch, but with the help of a local, we ended up ordering fries with horse meat, based on his recommendation, "It's really nice!" he said. Horse meat? Really?  Talk about a distinct taste.  Well a few nights later, I swear I was eating it again in my spaghetti and meat sauce at the Italian place down the street.  It wasn't bad, but yet, it wasn't good either.  I might stick to chicken from here on out.    

5. My Washer and Dryer Are Smarter Than Me
In case you haven't caught my Adventures in Expat Laundry post, let me explain.  My appliances are multilingual, they speak French and Finnish.  Not only am I faced with the challenge of doing the wash, interpreting the instructions on the machine I have to determine which machine is speaking which language.  

My new multilingual BFFs

6. It Takes An Advanced Degree & A Tweet To Figure Out the Train Discount Card Programs
When you look up train times and tickets, they list the full fare price then the discounted prices.  Discount tickets? Don't mind if I do! Who doesn't like to save a euro or two.  After multiple search attempts and with the help of AmsterdamTips.com I finally figured out the discount scheme. But there was still the challenge of how to purchase said discount subscription. (I'll leave that for a future post.)  

I then learned there was another discount program good for international train travel across a number of European countries.  It's called the Rail Pass Plus.  But my searching attempts kept coming up empty.  Every site I found told me of the existence of this pass, but NO WAY to purchase it.  I finally found out, from a Belgium rail site, that you could buy them in the train stations.....in Belgian train stations.  Great.

As I continued scrutinizing the NS Highspeed site, I saw a link to their twitter account.  I thought, what the hell, let me try the power of Dutch Social Media.  Then this happened, in Dutch:

Actual Twitter Dialogue  

Well I got my question answered thanks to Twitter (and google translate). Apparently you can purchase them on their website at the link they provided. Ok, in my defense, since you're probably saying, why did you have so much trouble then? Well,  I tried to backtrack using their link to see if I could find the page on my own.  For the record, I still can't find it, so for now, at least I got the ow.ly.  


7. Carnaval In The Netherlands Is A Big Deal & My Landlord Has Great Stuff In The Attic
Move over Mardi Gras, there's a new Carnaval king in town and it's the Dutch.  Just think, 5 days of family friendly parades and parties under big tents with lots and lots of Heineken; that's Carnaval in the Netherlands.  What an experience and I am so glad we were here for it.  More on Carnaval in the Netherlands here.

Sweet Jacket Courtesy of the Owner of our Apartment.  Our Apartment ON THE PARADE ROUTE!

8. You Only Get 3 Chances To Talk To Your Waiter/Waitress In Restaurants; Make It Count
I had read that service in Dutch restaurants leaves a bit to be desired.  This was good preparation going into our first dining experiences here.  For example, you can be sitting with an empty drink for what seems like hours while you watch the bartender or server standing at the bar cleaning glass ware.  Or you can make direct eye contact with your server and signal that you are in need of say a napkin or water;  they then look at you (almost through you) and keep on walking.  

So that brings me to my learnings.  I've noticed the only times you get to talk to your server is when you are seated, when they bring your drink and when they bring your food.  Then you are own your own.  Yes, I'm familiar with the European dining culture vs American and understand that they do not work for tips and they do not want to rush you.  But come on, what's a guy gotta do to get another beer?  We now know, to treat each interaction with our server as a special moment, one not to be taken for granted.  

9. Make Sure to Bring Your Elbows to the Grocery Store

HAMSTERS MEAN SAVINGS!!!!

The Dutch are very direct, in words and in the grocery store. For example, you're in front of the refrigerators where they keep bagged lettuce and other prepared vegetables trying to find out what exactly a "wortel" is (it's a carrot BTW) and 2 or 3 fellow shoppers almost collide into you AND each other as they reach for a bag of Japanese Salad Mix. I thought, not big deal I was clogging up the aisle, shame on me.  I then walked a bit further down to look at some more veggies, and DAM, it happens again. Some dude flies right into me for a bag of peas.  Alright.  I've learned my lesson.  My next trip to the grocery I have to be prepared to throw some elbows if someone gets in front of my bag of wortels.  

10.  Outdoor Urinals Are Popular and Plentiful
This might be one of my favorite things about the Netherlands. Yes, I realize I have the sense of humor of a 5 year old. But hey, when you gotta go; say right after Mass lets out at St. John's Cathedral in Den Bosch, you're in good shape because there's a urinal just a stone's throw away.  I like the way the Dutch think.

Urinal in foreground, Cathedral in the background

They even set up portable ones for celebrations.

Honorable Mentions

These weren't exactly Top 10 material but they deserved recognition as well:

-Banking.  Don't expect to cash a check here in the Netherlands.  We had a check from our Irish Gas Company that we brought and tried to cash it here.  Turns out it would have taken 4-6 weeks, and the fees to cash it would have cost us about 16% of the check's value.  Not worth it.

-Dutch Websites.  Google Chrome is your best friend

-Learning Dutch. Need help with learning dutch numbers?  Stay up late, there's plenty of scantly clad ladies eager to help you by giving out their phone numbers.  Got this piece of advice from one of my favorite #expat blogs, "Invading Holland."  If you're an expat in the Netherlands, check out Stu, he's the man. 

When another month passes, I'll bring you another segment of "One Month, Ten Lessons."  

Cheers to the weekend everyone!